I’ve noticed lately that we are always presented with an option in challenging situations. The thing about challenging situations is that pretty much every one of them involves another person, and if there’s a challenge, it usually means that there is, at minimum, a difference of opinion.
Here’s where the option comes in:
1) Straighten your back, pull your heart closed and stand your ground, holding to your opinion like a lifeline so you can be right.
2) Open your heart and listen from there, with respect and a deep desire to understand.
The first option will keep you safe. You won’t have to reconsider your truth or examine another possible view of things. Afterwards, when you’ve proven your point, you can go brag about it to other people and get their agreement. It’ll feel great to be so fucking right! For a minute. Then, if you have any small amount of awareness (this is the amount we all have) you’ll start to feel a little shitty. All the righteousness will sour like milk left too long on the counter. Most likely, the other party will start to feel resentment, which may even cost you the relationship. For sure, it will be damaged.
The second option will offer you an opportunity for kindness and understanding. You’ll be choosing to be of service to another while at the same time opening a dialogue that may bring about healing. It will create expansion. You will both feel clear, safe and open. Perhaps you’ll learn something and breakthrough an old belief that had been limiting you. It could even bring you and the other party closer or, if it is what is necessary, complete a relationship with grace and love, leaving both parties free to open to others without the burden of regret or resentment.
The first option is fear based.
The second option is love based.